Sabbat Martyr

It’s been a while…

Last week I was bitching to friends and the like about how I’d like to be published in a mainstream magazine. I know, I know, I was published twice recently in top shelf mags. But for some bizarre reason, I’d really like to be in a mainstream mag. So I finally plucked up the courage after about a year of wanting to, to send in my pics to Front magazine. You see, Front is a mag I’ve read for a while now. It’s the only men’s mag I feel I can relate to. The others a full of third division footballers wives saying pointless shit about how horny they are. Fuck off ladies, we are all fucking horny and we all like sex, say something fucking daring for once.

Well, this is the sort of girls Front have. The sort of girls who are fit but also outspoken and interesting. That sort of shit gets me off, feisty girls. But I never dare submit my pics to them for fear of being laughed at or something haha. How fucked up is that, I’ll get naked and gangbang six girls but I won’t send my pics to a topless mag.

I digress, I sent the pics, 2 hours passed, they called, I screamed and bounced around the room a lot. The shoot was on hallowe’en, which was the next day. I went and had the time of my life. Glamour shoots are different to porn shoots. People talk about normal stuff and aren’t weird. Haha. What I mean is, on a porn shoot, one member of the team is guaranteed to be the definition of weird pervert and all everyone talks about is ‘the industry’. Oh the fucking boring fucking industry. Can’t we talk about something else?? Haha. Talking about ‘the industry’ makes it like work. now, I’m ruining the image of what a porn shoot is like, but for anyone who has ever attended one, they will tell you the last thing anyone is interested in is the actual sex. You get sort of numb to it, like it’s normal.

I think that’s why pornstars tend to be into fucked up sex, because normal sex is normal. But yeah, Front, I’m pretty stoked and can’t wait to see the pics.


I’ve been thinking a lot about my sexuality recently. When I was a kid, I never really knew what to think about it. My female friends were all into guys, but I was into guys who looked like girls or girls in general. I remember asking my mom if it was normal for girls to like girls and she told me that some girls do. I’m making this sound so very clear cut when it’s not. I myself never felt like I had an assured gender identity. I was never ones of the girls or one of the boys. Rather I was a sort of mixture of the two. I guess I was and still am androgynous in a way. And androgyny was what I was attracted to.

People are always willing to put labels on such thoughts, feelings and desires because it’s easier for them if they can categorise you. Even now when I go to the STI clinic to have my certs done, there is a box for sexuality and it has the following categories, gay, straight, bi, other. I always tick other.

For years when people asked me about my sexuality, I’d say ‘I don’t know’ so they’d assume I meant I was bisexual, but I’m not. I was reading an article recently about someone who said they were pansexual. I wikipedia’d the terms and apparently it is used to describe someone whose sexuality is not discriminate to specific gender ideals. Ie. Someone who is bisexual can generally be described as being attracted to men and women. Whereas someone who is pansexual can’t really be described definitely at all. The wiki definition is..

Pansexuality, anthrosexuality (anthro- literally meaning human, human sexual), or omnisexuality[1] is a sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Thus, pansexuality includes potential attraction to people who do not fit into the gender binary of male/female. Some pansexuals suggest that they are gender-blind; that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.

So, for the first time in my life, I have a label. A label I can’t describe, just like my sexuality, so I guess that’s sort of fitting in a way.
I have four days to myself this week and I spent the first one with Lulu. He came round and I made pasta and we watched scary films. First Evil Dead 2, then Hellraiser, I do love my scary films. They aren’t even scary, they are just fun I think. And I do LOVE the lead cenobite Pinhead from Hellraiser. After that, we talked into the early hours, I think it was about 7am whilst we ate Pringles. I was meant to go pick up my certs at 11 but I called them off until Thursday. Myself and Lulu have such a bad habit of having huge emo conversations about being depressed and cutting ourselves haha. It’s good for the soul I guess, we should stop being teenagers.

I think about wraps it up for now. Tea, fun, warm.

x x

Straight Silver

Yowza.

I left you on Saturday night after a tiring day with my lady Sasha Cane. You can imagine just how tiring it was.

So, Sunday I spent most of the day downloading typefaces for mine and Adam’s new project. I have a slight obsession with fonts and typefaces, I’m not really sure why but I can’t get enough of them and I only need a small excuse to download tons of them. So yeah, I got loads of them and spent ages typing out the same word in different fonts, then finding I preferred a font I already owned. Damn interesting stuff I know. Well I achieved nothing and decided to spend my only day off sulking in bed on my pc and drinking mass amounts of tea.

Yesterday I received a years worth of banks statements in the post or so I thought. You see I am officially registered as a self employed model so that the lovely tax man can take a slice of my supposedly huge earnings (I wish). So I ripped open the statements which were over a week overdue and discovered they were the wrong ones. Thanks Lloyds, I own your ass now, you nationalised cunts. It was almost closing time so I ran down there. Yes I ran, literally. My daily keep fit seems to be paying off. I spent 20mins in there as the grim faced employee printed off reams and reams of paper, all the while scowling at me. fuck her.

So I sat down in the evening and went through my finances. It made for rather disturbing reading at first. However once I realised that my income and outgoings matched, I felt a little relieved. So I’m not in debt, I just have no savings. Not sure how much I owe the tax man but I’m gonna run down the tax office tomorrow and grab the form. Why do I leave these things to the last minute?

I managed to find Escort yesterday and the pics look totally sweet. Apparently I’m 19 and I can’t stop having orgasms. It also says me and my boyfriend experiment every night (not far from the truth) and that he did me up the arse for the first time the other day (entirely untrue, it was shortly after we started dating). Today I managed to find Sport reader’s Wives which was equally as fun. This time I’m 22 and from Bolton, Lancashire. Not sure what I think about that, these magazines always seem to have a problem with printing that I’m from Yorkshire. One minute it’s Newcastle, next it’s Bolton?? Weird. For the record I was born in Sheffield, South Yorkshire. The Sport also mentions I have a boyfriend called Vincent which sounds hilarious to me, cool as fuck.

Today I went for my certs doing. Let me explain. Every month in the adult industry we have to be tested for STI’s. Then we have a certificate printed up with the results, if they are all negative, we can safely work with others. If they are positive, we cannot work until the infection clears up/is treated. This procedure can be very complicated for several reasons. Firstly, a lot of so called open minded GUM clinics will not test people in the adult industry, the ones which are specific to people in the industry tend to charge for the privilege, and they tend to have high prices (120 qid to be told your cocks not gonna rot off?). So you have found somewhere you can be tested. It’s only going to cost £30. Excellent, now what? Well, the you have to go in and repeatedly explain to everyone you speak to that no, you don’t have symptoms, yes, you do go every month, it’s because you are in the adult industry. Phew. Then you have a couple of needles jabbed in your arm for the blood test before finally laying back and having what I can only describe as the giant metal dildo thing shoved up there and several swabs taken. Great. On the plus side, they can never give you enough condoms and lube, which can never be a bad thing. And in amongst all the dried up old weird people who only work at GUM cos it’s the only glimpse of naked flesh they’ll ever see, are some thoroughly pleasant and entertaining people who really make the whole freakish but necessary experience a pleasure.

And finally, I have been reading myself to sleep with Calvin and Hobbes’ treasuries. Until next time, have fun keep warm drink tea.

x x

The Guns of Tanith

So I spent most of Thursday night, make that all of Thursday night re touching some pics for a girl I shot in July. Yep, I am a photographer in the loosest sense of the word. I have a shit ton of pics to retouch but haven’t got round to any of them at all right now since I seem to have been incredibly busy. On top of all that a flood of bank statements arrived throught the door today that I need to sift through for my tax return. Who said modelling wasn’t glamorous?

Friday night I sat sulking about my monetary situation when my good friend and co star Sasha Cane called me up and asked if I wanted to shoot at her place Saturday morning. Of course I agreed. I love Sasha she’s a great girl to be around and to work with and she always makes me laugh. Whether its pulling funny faces or declaring her love for me in a sickly sweet voice, shooting with her always descends into chaos, but its always such a laugh.

So this morning we shot with the sweetest guy called Frank who was from New York. He was so down to earth and never called me a ‘Brit’ once (I hate being called a Brit, I’m fucking English!!!) and I was very warm and fuzzy when he said he knew where Sheffield was.

Talking of my lovely hometown, I read in the paper yesterday that a lady from Sheffield hired a local rap group to kill her husband. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any classier. I also read that Cat from Red Dwarf attacked his bin men. Sweet. When I’m rich and famous and gonna attack my bin men too.

Im really fucking knackered reading this, I was up arly to get to Sasha’s place and I had a snooze when I got in. I had a really weird vivid nightmare. I have them all the fucking time, its weird. I don’t know anyone else who dreams as vividly as I do, its quite horrifying. And it’s the reason I don’t do mind altering drugs.

Think its gonna be a short one today, until next time.

Tea, Fun, Warm.

x x

Honour Guard

I’ve not updated in a few days. I have this for want of a better word, ‘thing’ where I find it difficult to update when I don’t have anything positive to say. Sometimes I feel like I spend so much of my time on the internet arranging shoots, sweet talking photographers etc etc. so when I don’t have something positive to say, I say nothing.

Sunday night two of my friends came round and we talked into the early hours. It’s one of my favourite things to do. I was trying to explain to some one today (but they didn’t get it, they never do) that I operate between the hours of 2pm to 6am. I sleep for 8 hours from 6 til 2. I always have, I just prefer those hours of the day. This usually prompts people to hurl insults at me, which include jibes about being a student (I haven’t been a student for 3 fucking years). But yeah, I love staying up and talking into the early hours, it’s when my head feels clearest.

I’ve been doing speed runs on resident evil 4. right now ive got it down to 2 and a half hours but I’m sure I can get it down more. Ive also been checking out every resident evil 5 trailer under the sun, it looks wicked and I can’t wait til next march. I remember when resi 4 came out. I woke up on the day it came out, got dressed, ran downstairs, ate breakfast and started to leave when my mom asked where on earth I was going, I told her to buy resi, she thought it was weird I was up early. I went into work to buy it, at the time I worked in a computer game shop. I got tons of discount as I remember, I still have the receipt tucked in the box, but its faded now. When I got it home, I made some cheese toasties and played it at full blast much to the annoyance of my mom. But resi 5, looks totally sweet.

Ive not been doing much fucks for bucks recently. Work can be slow for a g/g performer, especially one with a bad attitude haha. Sometimes I have a reputation for being outspoken but its only cos I care about the work I produce. If I think something looks played out I’ll say it could be done differently, I just don’t think it’s ‘my place’ sometimes to say these things, but fuck it, I’ve always had a gob on.

Currently Im working on my own project with Adam, we have all these top secret plans for world domination that we are hoping to put into action fairly soon. Its so nice to work with someone who gets it but isn’t afraid to correct me if they think things could be better.

In other news, I’m currently in escort and escort readers wives and apparently im in finally legal in America in January. Hahahahaha, I could hardly believe it when Dave told me, finally legal??? I think the age of consent over there is 18, people must be fucking frustrated!!! But in the UK its 16, which means ive had almost 10 years of legality haha. I cant wait to see the pics though, I’ve not seen any of them yet, I’ve not managed to see escort in any of the shops so far.

Until next time though, farewell.

x x

Necropolis

It’s 10.51 and I’m on my way to Godmanchester to see Adam. A beautiful steam engine has just gone past us. The sun is shining but it’s one of those inevitably cold days which I think has earned the UK its reputation for worst weather on the planet.

4 of my fake nails have come off. I’ve tried in vain to make the most of what is left but I’m gonna have to chuck in the towel and buy some new ones. I’ve been sitting for the last half hour making banners for myspace. This is how great my life is. Oh yeah, and I’ve run out of tea, which is just about the worst thing that can happen when I have to be up early in a morning for a shoot. Tea is like my fuel. I can literally sit and chain drink the fucking stuff. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane. Most porn chicks take coke, I drink tea. It’s not without it’s risks though. On a recent shoot I drank so much I was bouncing off the walls, rock ’n’ roll. Its not without it’s downsides either. Indeed a close friend of mine almost broke up with his girlfriend since she thought he drank too much tea. Sweet. He even has this cool teapot that keeps it warm constantly. That’d fuck my electricity meter right up.

I digress, I’m talking, or should I say typing about tea. Now, it’s come to my attention that many of my co stars and people I am yet to work with keep these blogs too. And you might find yourself reading about tales of horniness, insatiability, fuck holes, fuck grease, cunt flaps, ring pieces etc etc. I’m gonna be honest, whilst you will inevitably find some of that in my blog undoubtedly at some point (I am in the sucks for bucks business), I’m not writing this to titillate. Indeed, I am writing this with no purpose at all, since I don’t know who is reading, I suppose I am writing to amuse myself and since my skills are rather limited, then said tales of fuck grease will be to a minimum. That’s not to say I’m not gonna mention hot chicks I’ve screwed, more that my blogs will most likely start with ’I just clocked resi 4 in under 3 hours’ rather than ’my hole is wet for you baby’.

I just went through a station called Biggleswade, always makes me laugh, since I am pathetic.

******************************************************************************************

So it’s 21.26 and I am once again on the train back to home sweet.

So today I went to see Adam Robertson. We met a couple of months back but have been emailing for ages now. He shot my friend Michaela back in January and ive wanted to shoot with him ever since. We finally got together in September where we both discovered shock horror that the other shoots porn. Often I tell photographers that I want to shoot glamour/fashion cos sometimes I fancy a change and telling people you shoot porn puts people off. I digress. We shot stuff then decided we had tons of ideas we wanted to shoot.

Its weird cos I was telling Sim that I desperately wanted to find someone who would shoot porn but would also shoot my hairbrained plans too. Then I shot with Adam and he’d been looking for the same thing too. So we shot tons of content and last week we shot more, and this week we shot again.

Whenever I tell people im off shooting they envisage it as being very glamorous and sexy when I guess it couldn’t be further from the truth haha. Today we sat and watched look east whilst I bitched about the credit crunch, drank tea and ate crisps. that’s not to say we didn’t have a laugh though. I froze my ass off in the studio shooting light trails for half an hour. And I did art nude haha. Yep, me. I did art nude. Adam pointed out I had a huge spot between my eyes, he only noticed when the lights lit it up. Way to make a girl feel great. Having said that it’s me and I’ve taken worse comments, ’pale emo chick’ (you know who you are, or maybe you don’t but I’m not naming and shaming here haha).

After the studio stuff we arsed around with my camera and remote which was fun, I got to show off my skills and exactly why I deserve that piece of paper which says photography degree. Except I kept falling over in my high heels and set my white balance to auto which is just about the worst thing a ’photographer’ can do.

I’m sickened to say I actually liked one of the male contestants on x factor. Before I was all about diana, the so called hippy chick but now I found myself into one of the guys. Having said that, diana is still the hottest, except cheryl and dannii obviously.

Im on my way home right now feeling pretty shattered but I’m listening to the stone roses which can’t be a bad thing. I still haven’t managed to pick up a copy of Escort yet. Maybe I’ll find it before I meet Sim. Gonna sign off now though, this is pretty short, but I am pretty wrecked.

Have fun, keep warm, drink tea.

x x

Ghostmaker

Yesterday I was on the train. There had been a fatality on the line, which of course meant that every train to everywhere in the world was delayed. I managed to finally catch a train to my chosen destination which unfortunately for me was packed full of school children.

Those who know me know that I hate kids. And when I say I hate I mean hate. No, I won’t change my mind and I don’t care if ‘your own are different’, I hate hate hate them! So there I am, stood up in a train packed full of kids. I am a creature of observation; after all, I did study sociology at a level (as a laugh to prove it was easy, it was). Anyways, I like to study people’s behavioural patterns from afar; I find it fun watching how we all fit into society with our little quirks.

I was standing near two kids that I’m sure would be dubbed ‘geeks’ who were talking about collectible card battling, world of warcraft and comedy. The token clever one, was impressing the other one with his knowledge of all the legendary pokemon, which made me smile secretly to myself. I was the know it all cunt at school. Usually being the clever kid is all you have to hang on to when you’ve been outcast by your so called class mates, after all knowledge is power. But knowledge brings fear.

So, the bigger kid informs the smaller kid that comedian Harry Hill’s real name is David Hall and he’s a doctor. I want to tell them that his real name is actually Matthew Hall but I daren’t speak to them for fear of being accused of being called a weirdo or something. I actually saw the same kid again today. I wanted to walk up to him and say ‘Matthew Hall’ and then walk away. Maybe if I see them a third time I’ll inform them of their mistake.

So, this morning I was woken up by a call from a photographer, Dave that I’ve worked with a few times. He was calling to tell me that a set I shot with him was in this months Escort: Readers Wives. Natch. Gonna have to check that out on my way home tonight. It was shot a couple of months back at Dave’s house. The theme was a night in eating popcorn which lead to me getting popcorn everywhere and I mean everywhere. It was a really fun shoot though and Dave is such a funny guy, hopefully I’ll get to work with him again soon. Another set of me should be in next months regular Escort.

I’ve not shot for the mags in a while. It’s always a good laugh reading the little profiles they write. I remember one said I had a dp fantasy (which I do) but it said ‘I like to finger my bum’ haha. I read it to my boyfriend who frowned and then said, ‘but Faye, I can tell that’s made up, you would never say bum, you’d have said ass’. I would have said ass, but it’s a bit vulgar, I think bum is more acceptable. Despite the fact the bum in question has a finger up it, bum sounds classier than ass.

I went out with my good friend Moira for a cup of tea and some cake today. she promised to buy me some cos she missed my birthday last week. She knew she could buy me off with tea and cake. I am addicted to tea, very addicted. I ran out the other day and hard times mean I’m having to survive on coffee, which isn’t pretty. So yeah, tea and cake. We went to Starbucks and sat upstairs right in the middle of the place. All was well until we got onto the topic of grot. I could see people staring as I explained to her about anal sex scenes. I just smiled sweetly though, I don’t think anyone suspected, but I do have quite a loud voice at times. She’s a sweetie though bless her.

Tomorrow I’m off to work with Adam Robertson. Over the past couple of months we have been brainstorming (he says the correct terminology is thought mapping and that brain storming isn’t pc) some killer ideas. Some porny, some silly, just loads of stuff, I think we’re gonna do a website or summat together. I love shooting silly porn it’s my favourite. I hate anything too serious cos I’ll end up laughing and getting in trouble. Silly is the best cos then everyone can have a laugh aswell as get laid.

So I reckon that’s about it for now, I’ll write tomorrow. I’m off to play Resident Evil 4 and watch that show where Billie Piper gets her tits out and plays a prossie.

Sweet Dreams and all that.

x x

First and only.

Greetings and welcome to yet another of my online blogs. I do love to write but I always find it difficult to know how much or how little to say. So many times have I been caught out by saying the wrong thing but I guess you can’t please everyone when you are addressing the web since its such a vast medium of communication.

So where to start?

At the beginning would be the best place I guess but im not sure I can work out where the beginning is or what indeed it is I’m trying to say. Is this just another online rambling of my thoughts? Or is this the real me? Should I say what is expected or say what I think? By now if you are still reading you will have realised that I have incomprehensible thoughts which I can never gather into something workable. It just all comes out as a huge ramble.

I guess I’ll start with a brief intro. My name is Faye and I work in the adult industry. I have done for the past 2 and a half years. Sometimes i love it, sometimes I hate the people around me and wish they would fuck off. Sometimes my friends wish I would fuck off cos I ruined yet another fantasy by informing them I met that chick and her tits don’t really look that good or some such. I guess its like all jobs really with ups and downs but the ups include getting to screw hot chicks and when you consider that, the downs never seem so bad.

My porn name is Faye X, Faye is my real name, X is not. My surname is so hideously vile that when signing model release forms I usually put an X in the surname section, hence, Faye X. For years I struggled to come up with something catchy, but now I’ve thrown in the towel and come up with X as my porn surname. This disappointed my parents who, in my moms words ‘wished you had picked something more porn sounding’. Word.

So there’s my name, my occupation, what about me, myself? I’ve just turned 25 years old although I’m sure if you see me on any websites or magazines, they will swear I’m 18 or 19 or something that doesn’t sound like 25 cos it’s a big evil number and girls die when they get to 24. or something. I went to school/college for the first 21 years of my life and got tons of qualifications that I should really use but I’d rather make porn.

I think I’m gonna wrap up the intro and leave it there for today.

Toodle pip.

x x