Ghostmaker

Yesterday I was on the train. There had been a fatality on the line, which of course meant that every train to everywhere in the world was delayed. I managed to finally catch a train to my chosen destination which unfortunately for me was packed full of school children.

Those who know me know that I hate kids. And when I say I hate I mean hate. No, I won’t change my mind and I don’t care if ‘your own are different’, I hate hate hate them! So there I am, stood up in a train packed full of kids. I am a creature of observation; after all, I did study sociology at a level (as a laugh to prove it was easy, it was). Anyways, I like to study people’s behavioural patterns from afar; I find it fun watching how we all fit into society with our little quirks.

I was standing near two kids that I’m sure would be dubbed ‘geeks’ who were talking about collectible card battling, world of warcraft and comedy. The token clever one, was impressing the other one with his knowledge of all the legendary pokemon, which made me smile secretly to myself. I was the know it all cunt at school. Usually being the clever kid is all you have to hang on to when you’ve been outcast by your so called class mates, after all knowledge is power. But knowledge brings fear.

So, the bigger kid informs the smaller kid that comedian Harry Hill’s real name is David Hall and he’s a doctor. I want to tell them that his real name is actually Matthew Hall but I daren’t speak to them for fear of being accused of being called a weirdo or something. I actually saw the same kid again today. I wanted to walk up to him and say ‘Matthew Hall’ and then walk away. Maybe if I see them a third time I’ll inform them of their mistake.

So, this morning I was woken up by a call from a photographer, Dave that I’ve worked with a few times. He was calling to tell me that a set I shot with him was in this months Escort: Readers Wives. Natch. Gonna have to check that out on my way home tonight. It was shot a couple of months back at Dave’s house. The theme was a night in eating popcorn which lead to me getting popcorn everywhere and I mean everywhere. It was a really fun shoot though and Dave is such a funny guy, hopefully I’ll get to work with him again soon. Another set of me should be in next months regular Escort.

I’ve not shot for the mags in a while. It’s always a good laugh reading the little profiles they write. I remember one said I had a dp fantasy (which I do) but it said ‘I like to finger my bum’ haha. I read it to my boyfriend who frowned and then said, ‘but Faye, I can tell that’s made up, you would never say bum, you’d have said ass’. I would have said ass, but it’s a bit vulgar, I think bum is more acceptable. Despite the fact the bum in question has a finger up it, bum sounds classier than ass.

I went out with my good friend Moira for a cup of tea and some cake today. she promised to buy me some cos she missed my birthday last week. She knew she could buy me off with tea and cake. I am addicted to tea, very addicted. I ran out the other day and hard times mean I’m having to survive on coffee, which isn’t pretty. So yeah, tea and cake. We went to Starbucks and sat upstairs right in the middle of the place. All was well until we got onto the topic of grot. I could see people staring as I explained to her about anal sex scenes. I just smiled sweetly though, I don’t think anyone suspected, but I do have quite a loud voice at times. She’s a sweetie though bless her.

Tomorrow I’m off to work with Adam Robertson. Over the past couple of months we have been brainstorming (he says the correct terminology is thought mapping and that brain storming isn’t pc) some killer ideas. Some porny, some silly, just loads of stuff, I think we’re gonna do a website or summat together. I love shooting silly porn it’s my favourite. I hate anything too serious cos I’ll end up laughing and getting in trouble. Silly is the best cos then everyone can have a laugh aswell as get laid.

So I reckon that’s about it for now, I’ll write tomorrow. I’m off to play Resident Evil 4 and watch that show where Billie Piper gets her tits out and plays a prossie.

Sweet Dreams and all that.

x x